Chanel McLeary

Just the way you are 🫆

I’m guessing anyone reading this would have possibly occupied their earthy body for least a couple of decades now. Possibly tried to move out of our earthly bodies a few times. Maybe even invited in a couple of swatters and rude guests, that’s another story.

But here’s the thing like a house made of brick and motar or grand design type house if you’re really posh. A house can be gutted, fixed up both internally and externally. Some parts can be reused and enhanced.

We can improve ourself, please note we’re not too far gone. Saying it’s just the way I am is not a final decision or destination.

In fact, it almost causes us to disassociate from our habits and behaviours that affect ourselves and others. This was and is still a famous line my boomer parents use ‘it’s just the way I am, and if people don’t like it well….’ .

Well, you can change and evolve, but probably not as fast as Apples updates or ChatGPT. But neither the less don’t put yourself in a box excepting your limiting beliefs are just who you are and there is no plan B. That’s a false narrative.

It’s a choice and starts with one decision, to change today, not just in January. Don’t wait until a new year starts ,today is the day. The perfect timing doesn’t exist. Do you know how I came to this revelation? Well, I tried it many times on numerous occasions. Please note, indecision is also a decision.

So when the words ‘just the way you are’ is uttered, let it be the version of you that’s refined and renewed. Who you truly want to be not who you accept or settle for being.

You’re trusted and constantly growing friend,

Chanel

Born To Be Wild

We often hear the word normal but what is normal?. Why do we presume some people’s behaviours are normal and condemn people who act out of side of these characteristics (that’s not considered the norm).

I am for one, not normal and nor do I wish to be. What equates to normal?, does anyone really know?. Because from what I’ve witnessed and maybe you too, people who lived a life well (happy or successful in various areas) have very unique characteristic and against what seems normal. In fact they can be pretty wild in their thinking. Innovators are certainly wild, bold and forever evolving leaving normal in the dust.

As a mum of creative neurdivgent children and highly likely myself too, we accord to society are not measured as the average normal person its frustrating to say the least to be ,measured against others when our brains are just wired differently. This is our super strength, we learn to lean into this and celebrate.

We are not made to be average or follow the crowd there’s a reason we have our own brains, to think differently in our own unique way, not like a weird dystopia programmed mind …… where we all think the same.

Imagine showing up as the real authentic you with all the awkwardness. What changes to your life would you implement?, what business idea would you start?, leave that toxic realtionship?, travel?, study?, wear bright clothes even on a cloudy day winters day?…

Don’t be mediocre anymore you’re born to be wild however that looks for you. You’re the lion walking in courage and confidence.

Born to be wild,

Chanel

Picking Up The Pieces

So friends were at the beginning of a New Year. Last year it felt like some of us have walked through the fire, some may have came out pretty unscathed and rest bit battered bruised. I don’t know personally what you have dealt with but the fact is your reading this so your Alive and your here. Where there’s life there’s hope, you made it even if your feelings differ.

I like to think of all our issues as pieces of a puzzle and as we go into a new year we need to pick up those pieces and put together one at time. It might be putting it back on the shelves to revisit at a later date, if its delicate putting it in a safe place or if it no longer serves us throw it away and take out the trash. It is best practice to not just leave it on the floor as stepping on it can feel uncomfortable. Try not to bring the issues of last year and bringing it into this year.

Now I am not talking about the things beyond your control but the things you can change, view or approach differently.

Happy New Year Friend,

Chanel

Get Lucky

Now, I no longer believe in luck. In fact, for a long time now. It can lead people into a false sense that things fall into their lap by chance, and if it doesn’t, then you certainty have something wrong with you accord to the world standards. There was no contract signed as we entered this world, promising us a good or challenging life. Not even a mediocre or rich life.

So where did the idea of luck come from some superstious person probably I feel like banging my head against a wall every time a certain family member says, “It’s just my luck,” and “oh it’s unlucky, that’s what it is.” Well, sometimes, maybe it’s just doing the same things and expecting different results. It’s time to accept somethings just ain’t happening or mean’t for us. Maybe something better is around the corner.

Ask the successful business owner, the parents whose kids regularly respond to their parents loving instructions, women working as CEO in male dominated field, and a couple celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. They won’t say luck got them there they will say hard work, and hopefully love for the married couple or in business owners case the love for what they do.

Seriously, there is nothing wrong with you in terms of luck, good or bad, because it’s not a thing. Sometimes, it’s looking for something or someone else to blame for our decisions that do not work out, ouch. I’ve been there until the day I realised my incorrect decision or indecisions caused my outcomes. Sometimes, it’s just timing or reasons we will never know. Also knowing, this is OK. We do not have to know the answer to everything. Maybe we should try to get comfortable with this idea and reserve our time and energy for other things.

So I personally do not believe we get lucky, but we get to partake in trying to have a life well lived (and loved). Our lives are like the beautiful stitches on tapestry still being created. Every detail matters, but we may make the odd mistake along the way or leave it for a couple of weeks. Go back and work on it again. One day, we’re back in the flow, and with all its mistakes, it will still look beautiful.

Your friend of support,

Chanel

All I Want For Christmas 🎄

So this time of year we speed up and then slow down or get smacked down with a winter bug. This happened to me and my family just after Christmas last year when someone gave us a gift in the form of an intense horrible cold. Christmas is a time of nostalgia with the festivities , then a couple of days later we jump straight into how can I improve myself and purpose next year. Whilst our brain is still in festive fussy mode. Let’s unpack this friends, starting with Christmas day it self, first off not everyone enjoys it for various reasons. Let’s take a walk with perfectionism, from observation and personal experience let’s talk about the big sulk when the roast veg is burnt, meat doesnt come out good, because guess what…..multitasking is not a thing, we just change tasks according to a study by National Institute of Health.

We need to manage expectations and maybe prep early with our work, hitting the shops sooner and meeting up with others when we really need rest. We often neglect that we’re heading into ‘all I want for Christmas’ which leads to perfectionism then onto stress then burnout. We know stress lowers immunity so possibly that cold or virus is little harder to fight with all this stress 🥱😫. Make a decision ‘I don’t want it all for Christmas’…..just good talks over food even if it comes out mediocre, delegate jobs, say no to extra stuff, also is milk of magnesia necessary maybe we just have your normal Sunday roast portions rather than over indulge 😉

Seriously it is not as deep as we assume, what’s most important is relationships, love and rest, kindness, serving others in love. This means it doesn’t have to be perfect. Protect your mental and physical health and relationships. Sometimes it may even mean inviting your neighbour who lives alone as an act of kindness even if things aren’t perfect. Let it go all those extra things that invokes pefectionism.

Now let’s talk about the saying ‘new me, new year’ thing. A idea is to make a conscious decision to start writing our aims and goals for the following year at the mid December it helps us not to feel that horrible feeling of rushing before new years eve and writers block. Leaving it to the last minute means it may become all I want in the new year, not what do I need in the new year to be where I want to be, very different. The first option can cause our aims and goals to come from desperation and failures of the past year. What do I need to happen?, triggers us to look realisically and practically at what we need for growth and attainable achievement.

So maybe less of all I want and more of what do I need this Christmas. Its probably alot less than we first thought. For new year what do you need to happen and what steps do you need to take to get to that point?

Merry Christmas and Peace Friend,

Chanel

Overload

Fast approaching is Christmas with a big drizzle of increased consumerism. It feels alittle uneasy especially as we find it hard to focus, with all stuff we have already and our short attention spans, followed by all the excess dopamine hits (instant gratifaction). More stuff, more overwhelm and a feeling of being overloaded. If you’re a freelancer like me you’re maybe thinking when’s the best time to stop and then begin working again, during and after the holiday’s. Whatever your circumstance don’t let the presents and food during christmas overwhelm you.

I decided I would focus on the true meaning of Christmas. I give what I can afford and don’t overstretch. Ways that work well is to tell family and friends that you’re swapping presents for a low key meet up sometime over the Christmas period. Surprisingly you could be making many of the recipients relieved, because they are most likely thinking similar things due to costs increases. Start the low key Christmas trend.

I love a list to assist managing and budgeting for spending over the festive period. Please try not too get overloaded by all the things going on around you, trying to get all outstanding jobs for work tied up and ready for you’re return. Upon reflection of these things to manage, no wonder why we feel so tired at this time of year, it’s not just the general winter month causing it, but mad rush to finish up well. Try to think about working towards rest whenever that is for you and cosy nights with a hot chocolate, a cake or maybe your a chesse and wine person. Have something put in place to enjoy when you have finshed your festive to-do-list. It doesn’t have to be expensive, mine never is, just a warm cosy drink, cake and Doris Day film or channel 5 type Christmas movie (where a women always saves a hotel or community event from closing whilst meeting a guy who the whole town loves).

Learn the art of saying no to family and friends if you know a extra met up will tip you over the edge then maybe its time to practice the art of saying no, besides weve got a whole new year coming why cram it all into week. It creates something else to look forward to in the new year. Most people will get it and you’re be able to show up at you’re best at a later date. Soon it will be like a chorus nooooo noooo nooooo. The aim is it leaves you in future to say yes when you really mean it and no when you want too.

Somethings may seem impossible to avoid and you may find yourself with challenging family members. The only suggestion is to emigrate or pick a holiday around that time 😄. But seriously going and sitting in the bathroom or bedroom for moments of peace to regulate emotions before outburst is just one option. You may have some great tips up your sleeve too. Just knowing who and what your up against can prepare for how you respond especially if it’s a reoccurring situation every year.

A constant yes person is a tired person, say no to overload. Protect your peace.

Your supporter,

Chanel

This little brain 🧠 of mine, I need to let it shine

*Little Brain – how I describe our overwhelmed brain certainly not a scientific terminology.

In a time where our brains are possibly less cooperative due to lack of nutrients in food, needing constant stimulation, digital devices, social media, trauma from the distressing things we see or hear daily. Could we be suffering from little brain where it takes a lot more effort to conjure up creativity and ideas. Even choosing what to watch on Netflix is quite a task only to finally find something and fall asleep. Scrolling feels like the straw that breaks the camel back.

The majority of us unsurprisingly struggle to conjure up energy , but wait, when a tiny bit of energy emerges, then it’s wasted using devices. Our little brain cries out “noooo feed me goodness.” Anyway, what if our creative thought or idea was amongst our quiet time and boredom. Unfortunately, it was drowned out by all the other things we deem important that if we’re honest, they aren’t. We have more brain farts from overstimulating than brain waves these days. It’s not all our faults, though, because it’s the way things are set up to keep us addicted but we constantly feel frustrated about why we’re not achieving, gaining , succeeding in the areas we hope to grow.

Now I love myself a bit of sugar, but sugar doesn’t always love me. I go through the cycle of why am I tired plus joints achy regardless of health issues sugar ain’t helping. There are so many reasons why our brain is not shining. It’s working out what we’re responsible for and what we can change. If you want to grow, it starts with the mind. Our brain 🧠 is the house for our thoughts and decisions. It needs to be sweeped, cleaned, and kept in a state of good repair.

Now, if sounds like you have more brain farts that brain waves good news with small mini changes, we can get those brain waves flowing like nigraga falls (it’s really beautiful there, by the way). Let’s polish off our brain so it’s shiny again.

What’s one or two small changes you can make to help your brain today?

Write it down and stick it where you can see it.

Let’s declare, this little brain of mine, I am going to let it shine.

Spreading encouragement and growth,

Chanel