Author Archives: Chanel McLeary

As we venture out into this world of many possibilities, guaranteed there will be someone else who is more skilled than us in our area of interest, it’s inevitable. Why?, because they have made mistakes along the way and learned how to effectively problem solve. We can get advice and learn from them.

We can look at others and think someone has it all together so they look untouchable.

Let’s throw off all preconceived ideas and judgements about others. There are people to help us, who could clearly be a great support, a great teacher or just give some sound advice.

Some of us tend to struggle along with personal, relational, work, marital, parental, business, financial problems. Asking for help or confessing we’re struggling feels slightly weird and alien to us at times.

This is why it’s important to ask trusted people who have gone through or operate in our area of interest how they got to that point and how to maintain it.

It’s only advice so we don’t have to implement it and if needed we can tweak it to fit our situation.

Most people are happy to help but it’s usually our judgement towards the other person, us displaying a false narrative that maybe their too busy, don’t want to help us or don’t want to share valuable information. One thing people love is to talk about themselves, so when you ask them a question speaking about their experience is usually welcomed. Also that person gets a compliment because you value their opinion. It’s going to make them feel seen and valued.

On the other hand often we don’t tend to ask others advise because we don’t want to admit we have a problem that needs solving.

This might feel uncomfortable but humility and vulnerability creates growth.

We can potentially receive a wealth of information and guidance that could create a lasting impact.

Who is that one person who can help you today?

Who holds information that can help you thrive and avoid some common pitfalls in your area of interest?

Don’t be afraid to ask and don’t judge just reach out.

Imagine 10 years worth of experience in 1 hour.

Chanel x

I’ve always been fascinated by community living and how it’s growing, as people feel the need for more connection with others.

That friend or family member who says they love to live alone but also value meeting up with others.

How about the person in the supermarket who clearly wants a conversation because they’re lonely. You maybe the only person they have a conversation with that week.

Constantly dipping in and out of social media being updated by what friends or acquaintances are doing. Feeling your own life does not match up.

Why does all this happen?, it’s simple and you probably already know, it’s because we’re all made for connection. We’re not meant to do life alone.

Let’s not give up in meeting together. The world teaches us to isolate and make it all about us. That was me up until a year ago. I watched the film ‘The Yes Man’. I decided to say yes to more things but only things I genuinely wanted to attend.

Guess what I had fun and I was intentional about what and when I said yes or no.

We are made to have a relationship and community with others.

According to the Gov website there was some variation in the proportion of adults of different ages that experienced loneliness, for example adults aged 16 to 24 (10%), and 25 to 34 (9%), were more likely to report that they felt lonely often or always than adults from all other age groups (4% to 8%). 

Many things can cause someone to feel isolated but it’s on the increase. Whilst the reasons for loneliness was always there, what can we as individuals be doing differently now to change this in the space we’re in?

Some reasons are obvious but you see if many of us step out and change we can make a difference to communities around us. Setting up events or meals to meet up with others in communities and neighbourhoods. If ten people come together that’s a great number. That’s ten less lonely people. Meeting up without distraction of electronics, being present creating deeper connections and lasting friendships.

You maybe fine alone so this may not apply to you. But those people saying they’re lonely are suffering and this can lead to depression and anxiety. Statistics say this on the rise.

We need people to share life with ‘the right people’. Honest ‘real ones’. Who genuinely wants the best for us and us for them.

How many times have you lost contact with someone?

Yes me too. Looking back the relationship was never that strong in first place because if do not stay connected there is no foundation. Hurts but that is truth. I have felt the hurt and realisation.

I do acknowledge those friends you see months or years later and jump back in where you left off. You both understand life gets in way. That’s also a real one. The kind of people you can call on anytime if needed.

Too many people do life, work, business alone. Even some marriages is like one person is in it and the other has checked out.

Community needs more than one person. I cannot stress how much you need that one friend or more.

If you got that person or persons in your life stay connected. The no judgement, truthful, loving friends.

If you need to get out and meet more people let this be the year you have another 3 months do not wait until next year. Make some moves towards building lasting friendships.

We all deserve to be loved and to pour out love to others however that looks for you.

Say no to damaging one side relationships and yes to good solid foundation relationships. The friend that cheers you on from the side lines but also listens to you when you’re hurting.

That’s community.

Chanel x

Change can be uncomfortable or even painful.

The time you finally understand or get to grips with what you’re feeling called to do, something else may come up. That may mean starting over again or adding to what already has been established.

Things change so rapidly like shifting shadows. We are as a society scrambling to catch up. Soaring rent, house prices, redundancies, bill increases, gas prices, food prices, home shortages, lack of job offers for our young adults.

As a side note, how are young adults not offered more jobs opportunities to gain experience?. If no one hires they can’t build up experience. Everyone has to start somewhere.

You like me may feel like many doors have closed in your face over the years for various reasons that made no sense at the time. In reality some door that closed were a blessing.

We need to see that some closed doors are a protect and not rejection.

Equally not every open door we should be going through. Somethings seem too good to be true and that’s because it is. Knowing to discern this is important.

It’s important for us to come to a place where we’re at peace with closed doors of the past. It’s good for us to know that also, it’s ok for us to say no to open doors or opportunities that may seem like a great offer but may not be the path we’re on. Not every great thing is for us, don’t let others sway you from the path you’re on. Be comfortable with your decisions even if down the line you wish you made a different choice, that’s part of life. Knowing you made it with the knowledge and information available to you at the time.

Remember a closed door today could be an open door tomorrow or in a year’s time.

You may have got one hundreds no’s but, the next one could turn out to be a yes.

A better offer could be coming up.

If you’re discouraged to the point of giving up, hope is likely around the corner. Just like the rain comes but the sun has to shine again someday. Imagine how many have given up and missed out when there breakthrough close. This was a pattern in my life for many years like a yo-yo up and down.

If your life is like a yo-yo or revolving door (one door closes and another opens).

Just ask yourself these questions-

What can I learn from that closed door?

Are my eyes and ears open ready for the open doors that will be presented before me?

Remember it maybe rain now but the sun has to shine again someday.

Be in a position to welcome it.

Chanel x

Love what you do and never work a day in your life. Many can’t agree on who originally said this.

Loving what you do is as much about loving those we serve in our roles. It certainly is not limited to the type of career or job neither earnings. Its a genuine love that makes want to go the extra mile. Giving back with free time and gifts if volunteering.

If this is you embrace it. If you would like to be in that place but not sure where to start reach out me. There’s no greater thing than love it has the ability to access all areas of our lives and others creating a positive impact.

There is a joy filled man that works at our local recycling centre. I don’t use the word joyful lightly. He said he has the best job in the world working at the recycling centre. He’s always singing and I genuinely look forward to seeing him.

There are people whereby their job take them all over the world and they have a wealth of experience and culture off the back of that.

I’ve had times where I volunteered and looked forward to every session because of the people I was serving. I know the word ‘serving’ maybe uncomfortable for some people but it means to essentially humble ourselves and look to the needs of another delivering a service or help of some kind.

We have lost the art of servicing well.

Remember the saying ‘service with a smile’ it’s far and few between now. It’s filled with people who actually hate their job and some will say it’s because they’re under paid.

But doing something you love voluntary or paid will indeed cause you to give a good service in both circumstances. It won’t feel like work so naturally things will just flow.

The quote ‘love what job you do and you never work a day in your life’. Is saying that when you enjoy your job it doesn’t even feel like work.

Waking up with that feeling of dread, you may even feel it in your job now. All the days just seem so long and all you can think about is retirement and you’re only 43 years old. You certainly shouldn’t be feeling this way friend. I don’t want this for you. It’s where the days feel long and the weekends feel short.

I want you to look back on your life and knowing love was the driving force. A love for what you do and that love will impact those around you because your doing something from your heart.

Chanel x

We tend to watch how others affect the world but have you stopped to ponder on what you are putting out into the world?

This is hard because it’s like holding a mirror up to our vulnerable part of our bodies.

It’s easy in this world to be so caught up with watching others and how they impact ourlives plus others around them.

Today and the next few days it’s good to take a look how we interact with those we come into contact with, and how we communicate with them, yes that includes your online community and those not so nice comment sections which you have probably witnessed. There’s still a person on the other side of those comments .

Do people leave your presence feeling being heard?. You will know people often tell you or show it in their actions.

Do you put out healthily boundaries?

Do you have a strong balance friendship group?

Is your social media post and comments full of honest directness but loving or is it full of judgement and criticism?

Do people tend to open upto you?, if not and you’ve wondered why are you closed off or the opposite do you talk a lot about personal stuff to most people both can make people worry about sharing their experiences.

These are just examples of things that people put out into the spaces around them that creates the people or environment in which they find themselves.

I’ve personally made many changes and use this method of asking myself what am I putting out into the world as a regular conversation with myself. In my past I was a people pleaser and it affected me deeply. Now quite honestly I am me with a dash of love and a drizzle of straightforwardness. If anyone doesn’t like me then that’s ok too because expecting everyone to like you is a big lie to yourself. I’m not into everyone so certainly wouldn’t be drinking tea with them. I shouldn’t have expected the same from others bazaar really the things we believe as human beings.

Take 10 minutes to think about what your putting out into the world.

If it’s pretty good do more of it. The things that need to change make micro changes one day at a time. Being radical in change is dangerous and can be short lived so small changes builds better healthier habits.

Chanel x